Career & Business Coaching

If I had life's answers, would you listen?

2011-01-25T14:50:00.001-07:00

If I told you I had all the secrets to life would you believe me? Would you listen? We have coaches, gurus, consultants, counselors, doctors; the list goes on and on with specialists giving us advice on how to live more fully. They tell us what’s wrong with our lives and what we need to do to correct it. But somehow, it never seems to solve our problems. Why is that? Is there something wrong with us that we don't 'get' what every happy person 'gets'? No, I don't believe that is it. I believe it is all about how we integrate our own answers into our lives.

I have tapped into my answers in life albeit they are not secrets. Most likely they are statements you have heard many times and believed them but didn't integrate them into your daily life. Today I will share one of my top ten answers and how I integrated the information into my life. My life has changed because of it. Maybe it might help you integrate your answers.....

Answer #10: Change your internal dialogue, change your life.

The chatter that goes on inside of me rules my life. Often I heard myself say these types of words... "you are not smart enough", "you aren't articulate enough", "you have to do more" or "you haven't done enough". I made choices based on these words. I didn't speak up, I spent thousands of dollars in education, I worked many hours a day.... etc. etc. All in response to the words I said to myself and believed. (well why wouldn't I believe it, it was coming from "me" or so I thought). Although externally, I graduated at the top few percent in my MBA program and I was promoted consistently throughout my career, I kept telling myself those same old words. The stress and strain of striving for perfection showed up in my energy, my appearance and my demeanor. I had to do something different because no matter what I did to appease my critical talk, I kept getting the same message.

After reading and listening to loads of material on what I could do differently, I committed to start saying the opposite of what I heard myself saying...I started to change my language....a little bit at a time. Here's what I did to start:

I replaced these words/phrases:          With these:
Should Choose, desire, want
Need to    It's important to me to..
Have to                                                Want to, desire to
Can't                                                     Choose not to
Always, never                                      Sometimes, often, seldom
Must                                                     Can
But                                                       And
Maybe    Maybe introduces uncertainty,I don't use it

It was so empowering to say the words... "I choose to get more education" rather than "I am not smart enough". "I desire to spend more time on this project....rather than "I have to do more". I suddenly saw that I was at choice with EVERYTHING I did. When I said the words "I choose" or "I desire" it made me accountable for the actions I was proclaiming. Over time, I found myself saying "I am smart, I am articulate and I have enough. That was the day I decided to start down a new path in life.

Language is powerful. It originates from thoughts and feelings. Empowering language can train your brain to access the positive, producing more responsive, healthy thoughts and feelings.

You alone can choose differently. You alone create your destiny, your path in life. You are that powerful. Can integrating your answers help you make the changes you want to see in your life?

Personal and professional goals, can they be the same?

2010-12-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

I find myself wrapping up the year, 2010, already. Where did it go? Do you feel like time has no relevance anymore? With the internet and all the social media information traveling so fast, it is easy to get lost in the flux of information. I am overwhelmed with all the "I can help you" emails and blogs I recieve that will potentially help me be successful with my coaching business. At times I feel like I am pulled in so many directions that I lose focus on what it is I want to accomplish.

I decided this morning, I need to close the computer, turn off the news, put down the books and focus (without any outside influence) on "my" short term goals. Typically, I set personal and business goals separately. I realized today, they can no longer be separate. Being pulled in so many directions sets up a kind of "duality" that dilutes my energy. I need all the focused energy I can get to keep my life heading in a positive, abundant direction.

So how can my personal goals and professional goals be aligned?

After shutting the world out this morning, I sat down and looked at my values. In coaching, one of the first exercises coaches conduct with clients is discovering their values. These are descriptors of what we need in life to make us thrive. They are different for everyone. I listed all of mine. As I read each of them, I thought of what I wanted to achieve in the New Year and I listed all that illuminated me. To keep it simple, I chose three values that I MUST HAVE in the New Year to thrive:

1. Freedom
2. Engaged
3. Abundance

With these, I started setting up goals. A bit tougher than I thought!

1. Limit my online presence for searches to 1 focused hour a day. Checking and responding to email only 3 times per day. This give me the Freedom to make other choices in my day.

2. Join two new organizations that align with the causes I support... Making the world a better place for children by providing essential life sustaining goods and services across the world. This meets my value of being more engaged.

3. Create a cutting edge workshop/seminar that will assist professionals in finding solutions to their challenges in the new year. This seminar will set the basis for my book I plan to write. This goal supports my value of living abundantly in 2011 as it will provide a forum to meet and work professionals that can benefit from coaching. It promotes interaction personally and professionally with like minded professionals and it allows me to share my passion of helping people take the next step in living a full life.

Do you know what your values are? Can they assist you what you want to accomplish in the new year? What can you do to focus your energy around what you desire and deserve next year?

Are you thankful?

2010-11-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

In the United States and Canada, we have a day designated to celebrate "Thanks". There are many things that most of us can think of to be thankful. But typically, it is just a fleeting thought because we are so accustomed to worrying about what is wrong. Worry is a negative thought. Thankfulness or gratitude is a positive thought.

There have been many studies about the brain. One important finding is that our thoughts actually form neuro pathways. When we consistently think negatively, we are actually forming pathways to that part of the brain. Once the pathways are formed, our thoughts "naturally" go the path of negativity. The great news is that we can change those pathways by retraining or "feeding" our brains with positive thoughts.

Being thankful, is a positive thought but it can be much more. It can be a very powerful way to change your life. Years ago when I was running a large organization, I found the way to motivate people was to always be positive about what was going on. I noticed is was very hard for me to be positive. It didn't come naturally. So, I challenged myself. Every time I would think a negative thought, I would envision this electrical current making its way to a "negative" place in my brain. I would quickly reroute it by thinking something positive or using a positive affirmation. It became a game for me! I would actually visualize the electric current going to a "positive" place in my brain. Every day I became much more positive.

As we approach this holiday we call "Thanksgiving", I challenge you to be aware of your negative thoughts and quickly think of what you are grateful for. Really think about what is positive in your life. Say your positive thought out loud every time you think something negative. As you do this, you will find, life will become much lighter. Being positive fuels our zest for life, making it fun and joyous and more productive at work!

Our thoughts are so powerful.....

2010-11-16T13:52:00.006-07:00

Do you realize how powerful you are? I am reminded of it daily as I work with clients that have been directed by their own personal critic. Today it was loud and clear as I re-read a quote (author unknown) that has been around for years:

Watch your thoughts.....for they become your words

Watch your words........for they become your actions

Watch your actions......for they become your habits

Watch your character....for it becomes your destiny

It all starts with what you tell yourself....your thoughts. From there it becomes what you say and then what you do. Next it becomes how you act and finally, you have created a life based on what you have told yourself throughout the years, true or untrue. We create what our life looks like. Nobody else has that much power over us.

Think for a moment about what you are telling yourself right now. Take that statement and carry it through...what are you saying about it? How does it guide your actions? Is it now a habit? Have you created a destiny you are happy with?

A simple example of this comes to mind. I took a trip this weekend to a ranch in Northern California. There were so many people in attendance that they ran out of horses for the morning ride. I had struck up a conversation with a guy about taking the morning ride. He explained he hadn't signed up so they didn't have a horse for him. Well, I realized I hadn't either. I quickly told myself (my thought) "no problem" I will have a horse to ride" I will talk to the Head wrangler as soon as I finish breakfast. I suggested the same (my words) to my breakfast mate. He said, it won't happen, I won't get a horse. I proceeded to the stable (my action) and I put my name in as a back up. I stayed there, in front, knowing I would get a horse (my character). My new friend showed up but stayed behind until all the riders were accounted for. I kept urging him to go up and put his name down, but he said, its worthless, I won't get a horse. WELL.... you know the end of this story....I had a beautiful ride surrounded by acres of beautiful trees and wildlife (my destiny). My breakfast mate was left behind in his anger and sorrow.

Are we afraid of our own power? What happens if you take accountability for your life by observing your self talk, your words and your actions? Challenge your self talk. Is it leading you to a place of your dreams?

Where's our energy?

2010-08-27T19:47:00.002-07:00

Are you feeling a lack of energy these days? Finding it hard to stay focused?

Our 'human' nature is to keep things steady and consistent but our world today is not cooperating. With the economic woes, the war, the political polarization, the weather and everything in between, our sense of purpose, our drive and our vision is surely affected.

There is a ton of advice out there on what we should do to stay focused and to be positive. I have found that 'being' in the present is the most effective way of staying productive. A quick easy way to do that is when you get up each day, ask yourself how you are going to show up in the world today? Pick an adjective that best describes it. Write it down on a small piece of paper and put it where you can access it frequently during the day. Maybe in your pocket or on your phone or your computer screen. When you see it, assess whether or not you are being what you set out to be.

At the end of the day, reflect back on the day. Did you show up the way you wanted to? If so, celebrate it....and start the next day with another word that describes how you want to be that day. If not, gently remind yourself to do it again tomorrow and keep doing it until you do. We may not have an abundance of energy, but we do have the ability to affect how we are showing up in the world.

High Achievers

2010-06-28T10:52:00.002-07:00

I am in the process of reading a book by Marcia Reynolds, PhD and Master coach. The books is about high achieving women and their search for fulfillment. While reading it, it came to me that we are all trying to find balance in life. Although, most of us believe balance means more time at home,time with family, time to practice hobbies, time, time, time.

In my world, a balanced life is really about integrating that part of you that doesn't typically show up in the world. The inner voice that is all about "being" not doing. It already knows your purpose but it is over shadowed by that side of you I call, the ego....the part of us that takes care of our survival.

If we are always in the survival mode, how can we enjoy the simpler things in life. A brisk walk in the sun or an evening with the kids playing a board game.

Do you have balance in your life? Have you integrated that side of you that just loves to be? The side that doesn't need to do anything but show up?

Fear or F.E.A.R?

2010-06-11T11:21:00.003-07:00

Okay, so I haven't blogged in awhile, and of course I ask myself "why"? Well my excuse is that I fell into that negative mind chatter that I often coach my clients about. I am telling myself there is no need to blog, nobody listens, I have nothing to say, its already been said...blah blah blah... Hmm....sounds like FEAR is woven into all of those thoughts. So, if I believe FEAR is "false evidence appearing real" how could that change my negative thought process? Fear is the single most limiting factor in our lives. We stay so stuck in life, whether it be situations, jobs or relationships, when we FEAR. I challenge myself to walk through every FEAR that comes up for me. So here is my blog. What is it that you fear today? How can you walk through it?

Try somthing "new" for the New Year

2010-01-18T08:49:00.002-07:00

Happy New Year!

Has the new year started out fresh and new for you? We all tend to get energized by the change in the calendar year. Some look at new resolutions and others at setting new goals. New years resolutions are typically trying to change something you don't like about yourself by forcing abstinence from it. The meaning of resolution is the process of resolving something, a firm decision to "do" something. The meaning of a goal is something that someone wants to achieve. So whether you are resolving something or wanting to achieve something, both are focused on "doing".

This year, I have committed to "being". Who are you "being" this year? How are you showing up in the world? Can you bring your whole self to a job search? to a project at work, to what's going on at home? If we are focused on changing things on the outside it may distract us from being who we are on the inside. What are our inside strengths? How can we use them to make this year a fulfilling one? If you not sure of your internal strengths there is a great website www.authentichappiness.com that offers free questionaires that will help you discover your inner strengths. Take the questionaire "VIA survey of Character strengths". You will get your top 24 internal strengths after you complete the survey. What are your top 5? Are you living in those? Who are you sharing those strengths with? How can your inside strengths help you in your job? In your personal life? Focusing on your core strengths will help you "Be" in the new year, showing up fully and whole in everything you "do" this year.

3 steps to keep you focused on your job search this season

2009-11-30T20:23:00.009-07:00

When listening to the news or reading a newspaper, it is easy to get distracted from your career goals this season. From new record unemployment rates to the seasons hottest gift giving ideas we are often led one way or another by the media. Nobody knows what's next, everyone however is trying to convince you that they know what you should be doing right now. Marketeers, retailers, service providers, all the entities that are focused on getting our attention just don't get it. In today's new energy, it is no longer about what they can give us, it is all about what we can give ourselves. Here are some suggestions on how to stay focused on your immediate goals:

1. Do something outside of your normal routine this month. Consciously agree to change a habit, something you do unconsciously everyday. For example, if you are looking for a job, instead of getting on the internet searching for the perfect job, call a friend or an old colleague and tell them what is going on with you. Share "you" and what you are looking for in the new year. What would you share with them? Write it down.

2. Spend an hour or two a week helping someone else. Take yourself out of "your world" and share "you" with a local charity or animal rescue agency or helping a neighbor with thier christmas lights. What do you have to share? Write it down.

3. Accumulate your notes from the two activities above and integrate them into your resume. Capture those attributes, the gifts and the talents that you shared. What does it look like? Are you looking for the right position? Does it open you up for new and different opportunities?

If you can achieve these three things in the month of December, you will have networked, targeted a position and marketed "you", the 3 critical strategies necessary in a successful career search. Yes, when we share who we are and what we have to offer, our job searching tasks can be more focused and enjoyable!

Happy Holidays!

Dennece

Change in season

2009-10-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

Can you feel the change in the season? Traditionally, we associate this feeling with the weather but in today's consciousness, we recognize that it is really a change in energy. Look at the difference between where we were as a society last year vs. today. Last year we were clinging to idea that a new government would make things better. Today, we realize the power of change is not on the outside of us but rather the power of change comes within. This is a shift in our energy.

What a gift we have received to now understand that those around us, our husbands, wife's, mothers, fathers, friends, our employers, not even our government have the power to make things better for us. We alone hold the energy to affect positive personal change. We are not victim to another.

Have you had a positive shift in energy? Take a moment to go within and recognize how you have steered yourself where you are today. Are you where you want to be?

Intuitive Guidance

2009-06-19T08:02:00.001-07:00

Today I am sharing a posting from www.DailyOm.com about Intuition. It is all about going inside to find your power. For so long society has only looked for strength on the outside of themselves whether it be from a job, another person or religion. We are the creators of our destiny in life. Take a moment out of your day to hear yourself. What is it saying?

Posting from www.DailyOm.com June 16th:

Paying close attention to your intuition when interacting with others will help you recognize even the most subtle hints of dishonesty or deception. If you can spend time getting in touch with your inner wisdom, you will be better able to understand the signals your intuition sends you. A good way to do this is by spending time alone, emptying your mind of all concerns, and turning your attention toward your spiritual center. Doing this periodically throughout today will keep your inner connection clear and allow you to be more aware of your surroundings.

Strengthening our intuitive abilities and being aware of our surroundings allow us to recognize lucrative opportunities and make beneficial decisions. While our intuition speaks to us spontaneously, we can learn to use it as a tool for growth if we instead learn to access it on demand. Making time to clear our mental and spiritual channels and tune in to our inner wisdom gives us a heightened sense of clarity that can enhance every experience. With focused attention, we are able to recognize lucrative opportunities and make wiser decisions that lead to more positive outcomes. Forging a stronger connection to your inner wisdom today could give your heightened clarity direction and guidance.

2009-05-04T15:09:00.000-07:00

A Sustainable Life?

Everywhere I turn these days I am hearing the adjective sustainable before words that we use everyday. What is sustainable and what does it mean to us? A definition of sustainable is ‘Capable of being continued with minimal long-term effect on the environment’. So having sustainable foods, agriculture, tourism and architecture, design and development is a way of being. “Being” in harmony with the earth, preserving it for future generations while using its many natural resources to sustain a comfortable lifestyle.

So what does that mean to us personally? Most of the population today is so drained by the events of the day, there doesn’t seem to be time to focus on saving the earth. So why focus on this? Why not? Focusing on something much bigger than us can help change the world we see today. Changing the world starts by changing ourselves, we are the world. Increasing our consciousness, our awareness of how we affect the world, can create a sustainable way of life, a life of possibility, of ease and happiness.

It is quite evident that the path our society has been on is not sustainable. Greed has brought down the most powerful banks. Judgment has created wars and death. Narrow-mindedness has created a separation of, we the people. We can no longer sustain on “business as usual”. Business as usual is the reflection of an obsolete consciousness, one of narrow mindedness, short time horizons, judgment and greed.

How do we increase our consciousness? Looking at life through an unfiltered lens creates a clear perspective on what is in front of us. A lens that is free of tradition or expectations of what something should look like. A lens that is clear of judgment, in ourselves, and in others opens many more possibilities in life. What judgment is holding you back? How can you create a sustainable life?

Affirmations

2009-03-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

"Today I let each of my experiences be a gateway to something even better! " This is an affirmation I use frequently. Holding in mind an intention helps me get the most out of the day. If we try to control every detail of our day it keeps our mind so focused, we lose out on the subtleties in daily life that can serve as an idea or opportunity for something different. What happens when you free yourself up to hear, see and feel something uncontrolled in your life today?

Networking

2009-02-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

As most of you may know, the most efficient, effective way to find a job today is through your network. Not only your friends and family but your business contacts from your previous positions. I know an individual found a job opportunity from contacting their previous employers supplier. Customers and suppliers can be an excellent resource in finding that next position. Who is the most unlikely person you would tell about your search? What is stopping you from contacting them?

Welcome To My Blog!

2009-02-05T23:55:00.000-07:00

This is the official Blog for MyPathNow.com.

The focus of this blog is you. Are you in the process of transitioning right now? My Path Now offers free support for anyone needing help for their next steps. This Blog will answer questions you may have, career topics you have and will also feature weekly career transition articles.

My Path Now will provide proven steps for making successful transitions in life. If you are looking for a process that will help you make meaningful change in your personal or professional life contact us!